I was considering some movies and got to thinking: what series of movies best exemplifies the concept of a wholly rotten franchise.
There's some franchises that started well and went generally downhill. Halloween for example, is a franchise with a tip-top first movie and seven sequels (not counting the reboot) of wavering quality, the third being a sort of wildcard.
Some have intermittent high points. Nightmare on Elm Street had a decent first flick and some great trippy high points, part 3 The Dream Warriors being the most fun in my opinion.
But let's go off the beaten path a little. The Howling had seven sequels, some of notoriously low quality and it's a werewolf movie, a definite bonus for this board but for a real look at the horror franchise barrel we go back to the video stores of my youth. Witchcraft
had TWELVE sequels. From the start it was a direct to video franchise. The highest IMDB rating of any of them was a 3.4 out of 10 and worst of all I haven't seen a single one of them!!!
What is wrong with me?
Might be the best/worst example of a rotten franchise... but there are things that frighten me even more.
I really do want to see Witchcraft 1 through 13. I suspect they'll be good for a laugh and as I write this I'm contemplating what sort of price I would pay for a boxed set if one existed. The franchise that I think would really mess with my biz is a little under the radar because it's NOT a horror franchise, it is, on the other hand, furry.
I speak of Air Bud
. I've seen the first one and it was pretty stupid. It felt like a generic believe-in-your-achieve sports drama that got into the hands of a producer who saw a video clip of a dog that hits basketballs into the hoop with its face, causing the world's most pathetic eureka moment. They had the story of a misfit kid with a dead father and a retired pro basketball player mentor, then they coated that with a dog that hits basketballs into a hoop, deep fried it and sold it at the Stupidville County Fair.
But it didn't stop there. That dog went on to play football
and beach volleyball
Just when they were about to give up because the damn dog couldn't ride a bicycle or swing a golf club with its mouth someone remembered that while playing soccer Bud the dog got a girlfriend named Molly and had some puppies. They're the Air Buddies
and guess what? They fucking talk!
They ironically get into dog sled racing
. It's part 7 and the series has finally put dogs in a sport made for dogs
Not done yet. The Air Buddies go to outer space
because if The Leprechaun, Jason Vorhees, Pinhead and Critters can do it there's no way the Air Bud franchise is going to miss a chance to be insipid in low gravity.
Then they meet Santa Claus
, which spawns a spinoff series, Santa Paws
with a sequel of its own
where Santa Paws has a litter of his own pups. This franchise, it's like a hydra!!!
Then they go to Egypt for some Indiana Jones style pulp adventure
and gain super powers
Somewhere in the course of fourteen movies
they have a Halloween adventure.
Fourteen movies. That beats witchcraft by one and there's NO SIGN of this thing slowing down. This might be the worst movie series ever. I think an Air Bud movie marathon could literally kill me, and shall.